The Return Of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1995)

McConaughey voice: “Leatherface, you just gotta keep looking for those greenlights…” A video store staple is the cash-in ‘before they were stars’ release, particularly cheap looking DVDs with a badly photoshopped poster emphasising a big movie star in an early role. The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1995), or as I saw it on video shelves, The Texas […]

Pale Blood (1990)

Somewhere between TV shows like Silk Stalkings and Forever Knight, there’s the direct-to-video horror thriller, Pale Blood (1990). A hang over of Miami Vice aesthetics employed in the service of arty genre trash. And yet, there’s a certain elegance here, thanks to the stoic presence of George Chakiris (from the original West Side Story) as […]

Sunset Strip (1985)

Sunset Strip (1985) put me in mind of that transition period in video stores where DVDs were coming in, and old VHS stock was being sold off in $1 ex-rental bins. Uncovering and finding video boxes to films I’ve never heard with no recognisable actors, often only distinguished by an illustrated poster or a blown […]

Iron Warrior (1987)

I can’t imagine the Italian filmmakers directing Conan knock-offs in the 1980s really gave a shit about the mythology or the lore in their movies. They weren’t sketching maps of the various realms or had a bible of notes about the kingdoms and tribes living in this fantasy world. Whatever worked in Conan, or any […]

L.A. Bounty (1989)

I had to rewind Sybil Danning’s introduction scene in L.A. Bounty (1989) to enjoy it all over again. Rocking up to the middle of a nighttime kidnapping at a mansion – in a blue turtleneck, leather jacket and Mum-jeans – to cut some goons in half with a bulky super-shotgun. If you check out the […]